Business or Kids Is the Wrong Question

"Business requires a lot of you, as you know, personally. But parenting requires just as much if not more."

I say that as a dad of two boys and a grandparent who is also building a business. So if you are asking yourself whether to choose the business or the kids, here is the truth. That is the wrong question.

Both require a lot of you. You do not get to pick one. The real question is how you build the business so it does not need all of you. I wrote about where this pillar comes from in Parentpreneur: Business Asks a Lot. Parenting Asks More.

The question sets you up to lose

"Business or kids" sounds like a hard choice. It is really a trap.

If you pick the business, you tell yourself you will make it up to your kids later. Later has a way of not coming. If you pick the kids, you tell yourself the business can wait. But the bills do not wait, and the business you let slide becomes one more source of stress at home.

Either way you lose something, and either way you feel guilty about the one you did not pick.

The problem is the frame. It assumes the business needs every hour you have, so any hour you give your kids is an hour taken from the business. That is only true for a certain kind of business. It does not have to be true for yours.

Parenting is not optional time

Here is how I think about it.

"If I don't do this, I'm going to [mess] up these little humans... if I don't dedicate the time that I need to dedicate to make them feel safe and loved and, you know, heard and all the things."

That time is not extra. It is not something you give when the business is having a slow week. It is the job. Making a kid feel safe, loved, and heard takes real hours, and it takes you actually being there, not half there with your phone in your hand.

So start there. Before you plan the business week, decide the time your kids need. Put it on the calendar. Treat it the way you would treat your biggest client, except it does not get rescheduled.

If your calendar has no slot for your kids this week, that is the first thing to fix. Not the marketing. Not the offer. The calendar.

And when you are there, be there. Kids can tell the difference between a parent in the room and a parent who is present. Twenty minutes with the phone in another room often does more than an afternoon of checking messages between games. Heard is the word I keep coming back to. A kid cannot feel heard by someone who is reading a screen.

A business that needs all of you is built wrong

Now the harder part. Some of you will read that and say, I would love to protect that time, but my business will not let me.

I believe you. And that is the real problem to solve.

If your income only moves when you are on a call, answering a message, or running a session, then every hour with your kids really does cost you money. That pressure is real. But it does not come from being a parent. It comes from how the business is built.

When the revenue needs you in every room, the hours come from somewhere. Usually from the people at home. I wrote about that pattern in Your Calendar Is the Bottleneck at Home Too.

A business built differently does not have that problem in the same way. When what you know lives in a product, a system, or a process that works without you on every call, the hours you give your family are not hours stolen from the business. The business keeps moving while you are at the table.

Build it so it does not need all of you

So the better question is: what would it take for the business to need less of you?

You do not have to rebuild everything at once. Start by noticing. For one week, write down every task that only happens because you personally did it. The same explanation to a new client. The same answer to the same message. The onboarding you run by hand every time.

Then pick one. Just one. Turn it into something that works without you. A recorded explanation. A written process. A small product that answers the question you keep answering for free.

If you are not sure where to start, start with the thing you do most often. The question you answer three times a week is worth more to systemize than the complex thing you do once a quarter. Frequency is where the hours hide.

Each one you do gives a little time back. And a little time back, every week, adds up to the hours your kids need.

This is not about working less because you do not care about the business. It is the opposite. It is building a business strong enough that it does not fall apart when you close the laptop and go be a parent.

Why this matters to what we build

Freedom Builderz was built so people do not have to die without sharing their gifts. Everyone comes here with a song to sing, and we get to build the stage. But a stage you have to stand on every hour of every day is not a stage. It is a cage. A business that needs you in every room takes the time your kids need to feel safe, loved, and heard. The whole reason to build something that runs without you is so you can be the parent they need while you still share what you know.

If you want to see how your business could earn without every dollar running through your hours, the Offer Ladder calculator maps your offers on one page so you can see where the time is going.

Map my ladder

Frequently asked questions

Can you run a business and be a good parent?

Yes, but not by accident. Both require a lot of you, so the business has to be built in a way that does not need every hour you have. When income depends on you being on every call, family time is always the first thing to go. When the business has systems that carry some of the load, there is room for both.

How do entrepreneurs make time for their kids?

Decide the family time first and put it on the calendar before clients and calls. Then look honestly at what in the business only works when you are personally there. Each piece of that you turn into a system, a recording, or a product gives time back. Protecting the time is a decision. Keeping it protected takes structure.

Should I wait until my kids are older to start a business?

Not necessarily. The age of your kids matters less than how you build. A business that needs you in every room will take time from your family at any age. A business built so it can earn without you on every call can fit around a young family. Build it with that in mind from the start.

How do I stop feeling guilty about working as a parent?

Guilt usually shows up when the time you promised your kids keeps getting taken. The fix is not less work. It is protected time that does not move, plus a business that does not need you every hour. When your kids can count on the time you give them, and you keep it, the guilt has less to hold on to.